So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
