im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
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