Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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