Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
