what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
