garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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