Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
