please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
