If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
