I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
