Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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