woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
