She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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