Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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