apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
