Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
