I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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