TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
