Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
