false alarm. still invincible.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
