Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
