She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Randomize
