Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Randomize
