I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
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