I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
