I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
