I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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