You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Randomize
