just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You are a genius and a whore.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
PANTIES FOUND
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
