She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
