lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
