i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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