Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
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