her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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