Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Randomize
