He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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