what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
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