are you so shy because you have an std?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
