So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
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