I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
