We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
