Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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