brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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