Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
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