i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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