I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
