and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
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