I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
