Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
