At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Never underestimate the power of titties
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