Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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