I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Randomize
