Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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